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Crocodile Tears And Cow Flatulence Other articles by this author  

Crocodile Tears And Cow Flatulence
Nancy Morgan
May 26, 2008

Our government is jumping aboard the global warming bandwagon in a big way. Ignoring any facts to the contrary, they continue to fuel a juggernaut that will result in more government, more taxes, more 'crises' and more useful idiots.

Even Republicans are on board, with John McCain turning green with a twist guaranteed to garner liberal votes. He's proposed a 'cap and trade' system (called redistribution of wealth) to help battle climate change. It used to be only liberals who had the hubris to think man can control climate.

Meanwhile, Democrats are crying crocodile tears as more Americans are paying more and more money for gas. And more and more poverty stricken countries are seeing food riots and starvation as a direct result of Democrats latest solution (ethanol mandates) to this faux crisis.

As Democrats gin up phony outrage at the designated villain, the evil oil companies, behind the scenes they are actively working to prolong this situation. The Senate just rejected a plan that calls for opening the Alaska Wildlife refuge and some offshore waters to oil development. A solution that, if not vetoed by Bill Clinton back in 1995, would now be supplying Americans with 1 million barrels of oil a day. The Democrats instead, rely on ethanol mandates, even though it takes 1.25 gallons of gas to produce 1 gallon of ethanol.

Helping these Democrats along are their friends in the Interior Department, who just designated the polar bear as a threatened species because of the supposedly declining Arctic sea ice. Caused by, you guessed it - global warming. Now Democrats have moral cover for voting to keep vast areas of America's oil off limits to drilling. Very cool. As long as no one finds out that the polar bear population has actually tripled since 1960. Or that, while some Arctic ice is melting as it has been for centuries, other Arctic glaciers are expanding.

The Democrats got yet another reason to high-five each other. The Environment and Public Works Committee just voted out 'cap and trade' legislation that is expected to reach the House floor in a couple weeks. This bit of legislation, according to the EPA, will increase the cost of gas by $1.50 a gallon.

All this recent legislation will dramatically increase the already astronomical prices Americans are paying at the pump. This is the Democrat solution. And it is a solution. A perfect solution designed to make Americans more dependant on government. A solution designed to keep greedy citizens from buying SUVs. A solution that vests in government increasing power to legislate how we live, what we drive, what we eat and how and when we procreate.  
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These Democrat solutions have the added benefit of keeping alive the windfall taxes the government receives on each gallon of gasoline sold. As our elected officials propose a 'windfall tax' on oil companies to punish them for making a profit, the government is reaping three times the windfall profits they demonize the oil companies for.

We're talking mucho money flowing into government coffers. Money that Dems can use to fund ever more social engineering programs designed to alter our behavior to their specifications.

Another measure designed to prolong and extend the 'oil' crisis has just finished working its way though Congress. The Senate voted overwhelmingly to approve a five-year, $307 billion farm bill, despite a veto threat by Bush. Said farm bill, besides containing a few tons of pork, also retains the enormous subsidies paid to farmers not to grow food. Some farmers are actually foregoing these handouts as the market is now offering them more money to produce than our government is paying them to not produce. 

Democrats will soon be jumping on the coming 'food crisis' with joy. They will demand even more control over the economy in order to save starving people. They will call on Americans to sacrifice (code word for more taxes) as a moral imperative. After all, people are dying. The government will be there to help. The fact that they are the ones that caused the crisis will again be ignored. 

America is not alone in this gigantic scam. Other countries wholeheartedly endorse global warming. What better way to undermine the U.S., to say nothing of the massive proposed 'redistribution of wealth'. Global warming is the perfect excuse to legislate everything from population control, to obese people, (who are said to be causing the global warming crisis), to...well, just about anything a government wants to do. Any issue, any legislation can now be steamrolled to fruition under the wide umbrella of 'global warming.' Pretty neat, huh?

Just last week, Estonia farmers received a tax notice for methane emissions on their cattle. Yup. Estonia is now taxing cow farts in order to save Mother Earth. In way of context, Chile's Caiten Volcano recently released a gigantic cloud of emissions composed of steam, ash, smoke, and various gases whose estimated amount equals to one trillion cow farts. Just try taxing that.

With God being phased out of the public square, many Americans are left searching for higher meaning. The Democrats have provided them a perfect solution. Faith in Mother Earth as a religion. Faith that doesn't require facts. Faith that relies exclusively on whatever information elites decide to foist on a gullible public. Faith that willfully disregards the growing evidence that the earth started cooling ten years ago. Faith that labels as apostasy any facts that don't align with majority opinion (as defined by Democrats).

Guys, we're in trouble. The only solution I can see is massive doses of sunshine. Either that or start taxing the hot air issuing forth from 'elites' anxious to undermine our country for their own political ends. 

Nancy Morgan is a columnist and news editor for
She lives in South Carolina

Article may be reprinted, with attribution

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