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New Year Resolutions
By Nancy Morgan

January 1, 2007

1. I am going to stop automatically assuming all liberals are brain dead.
2. I am going to stop automatically assuming that all pundits with letters after their names (Ph.D.) are totally divorced from reality. After all, statistically speaking, there must be a few who live outside the theoretical world and have had a brush with reality.
3. I am going to stop playing by the arbitrary rules set up by liberals. To wit:
    a. I'm going to start (gasp) 'judging' people. In conservative circles, this is called having an opinion.
    b. I'm going to stop taking offense when I'm labeled 'argumentative.' In conservative speak, this is called enjoying debate.
    c. I'm going to develop a thicker skin. As Ann Coulter has proven, conservatives now gauge how successful they are by the amount of hate mail and/or outrage they generate.
    d. I'm going to start writing about 'taboo' subjects such as white racism and bad Muslims. I think I'll even throw in an article about the ungodly death toll caused by all those unhealthy sexual practices so revered by the left. 
4. I'm going to expand my horizons. This means watching more than just Fox News and The O'Reilly Factor. My main complaint about liberals is that they only expose themselves to one POV. I find I'm doing the same thing so.... CNN here I come.
5. I'm going to make an effort to mend fences with my mother. After all, just cause she's an ardent feminist and spends her time counseling the 'gender impaired' doesn't mean she isn't open to an honest dialogue with her conservative daughter. Does it??
6. I'm going to stop assuming that all politicians lie. I could be wrong.
7. I'm going to get some hairball medicine for my cat.
8. I'm going to try very hard to see the best in people instead of the worst. I really don't want to be the type of person who needs to find someone to be better than.
9. I'm going to stop feeding the birds and ducks every day. They're starting to get too dependent.
10. I'm going to be nice to my nasty neighbor just because I should.
11. I'm going to stop trying to be perfect. I dated a 'perfect man' once. How irritating!
12. I'm going to quit trying to be what everyone else wants me to be.
13. I'm going to listen more than I talk. Really...
14. I'm going to make a sincere effort to be the best I can be and to say thanks every day for all the blessings God has bestowed on me.
15. Last but not least, I am resolved to never again write anything where every sentence starts with 'I.'



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