Conan
Wednesday Night, February 25
Some people are saying Bill O'Reilly exaggerated his war experience in the
1980s. People became suspicious because O'Reilly said he was injured in the East
Coast/West Coast rap wars.
Disneyland just raised its ticket prices to $99 a day for kids over 10. However,
kids with measles still get in free.
A new study suggests dishwashers may increase a child's risk of developing
allergies. So the message is clear: Stop washing your kids in the dishwasher!
A new study claims muscular men make the worst boyfriends. Come to think of it,
I was kind of a jerk back in the day.
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Late Show With David Letterman
Wednesday Night, February 25
It's so cold in New York City today, the No. 1 movie is "50 Shades of Grey
Flannel."
Guess who's turning 21 today? Justin Bieber. He's turning 21, so now he can
finally drink.
If you're thinking of getting something for Justin Bieber's birthday, you can't
go wrong with bail money.
Pitcher CC Sabathia is in the Yankees spring training camp at 305 pounds. He
says he feels better at 305 than he does at 290. Yeah, try that one on your
doctor.
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The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson
Friday Night, December 19
This is the last show, of course, of "The late Late Show." I really didn't know
what to do. I thought I'd do a monologue. Then I thought: Well why? I don't have
anything else left to say.
The people that made this show are you. You came to a show that — let's be
honest, a bit of a fixer-upper. And it kind of stayed that way.
I think that we've managed to do here is make something that wasn't here before.
So in that sense maybe it is a piece of art. It didn't exist. Now it does and
you'll be able to find it forever on YouTube or wherever. No, sorry. What I
meant to say is the CBS website.
I wanted to do this show and now we've done this show. And if you will indulge
me in whatever I do next I'd be very grateful because my kids are still young.
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The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
Wednesday Night, February 25
President Obama vetoed the Keystone pipeline yesterday. Everyone expected him to
do that, but Republicans say he vetoed the bill only because their party was in
favor of it, while Obama said, “That’s what you guys have been doing for how
many years?"
Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald got in some hot water this week for
saying that he served in the military's Special Forces when he never did. It
gets even worse when you find out the place he actually served was Old Navy.
Waffle House is partnering with a mail delivery service app so customers can
pick up their packages at the restaurant. So if you're someone who is interested
in getting packages delivered to a nearby Waffle House, congrats on being the
sketchiest person on earth.
A new study found that smoking weed is 114 times less harmful for people than
drinking alcohol. And if you want to learn more, you can ask people waiting for
their deliveries at Waffle House.
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Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Wednesday Night, February 25
According to a new poll, the value of baby teeth is skyrocketing, up 25 percent
from last year. In the U.S., the tooth fairy left a total of $255 million last
year. The Vikings believed that children's teeth had magic powers that would
help them fight in battles. This explains why there are no more Vikings.
When you think about it, the tooth fairy is definitely the creepiest lie we tell
our kids, right?
On May 2, Las Vegas will host the fight of the decade, Floyd Mayweather versus
Manny Pacquiao. It's a long time coming. Tickets are expected to start at $1,000
for the worst seat. It's estimated a child would have to lose around 230 baby
teeth to afford a ticket to this fight.
I'm glad to see Manny and Floyd are finally putting aside their differences to
fight.
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Late Night With Seth Meyers
Wednesday Night, February 25
John Boehner said yesterday that President Obama's veto of the Keystone XL
pipeline was a "national embarrassment." And then, out of habit, Joe Biden said,
“Here!”
A study has found that the most popular type of business in New Jersey is golf
equipment stores. Though most customers come in and say, "I need a blunt object
and a bag about as big as a guy."
Jamaica has officially decriminalized the possession of small amounts of
marijuana for personal use. Which would be great news if anyone in Jamaica had
small amounts of marijuana.
A student at Philadelphia University has created a Batman costume that can
withstand punches, machetes, and baseball bats. In fact, the only thing it can’t
withstand is his father’s disappointment.
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