This Explains A Lot
philip.labasi1
The year is 1947
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947,
a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an un identified flying object
(UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell
, New Mexico.
This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by
the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after
that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
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Letterman
Friday Night, June 5
RightBias will no longer post Letterman 'jokes'
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Jimmy Kimmel Live
Friday Night, June 26
Thousands of people have come to pay their respect to Michael Jackson. The line
to see his star on Hollywood Boulevard stretches around the block. It's longer than
the iPhone line.
Michael Jackson news has pretty much wiped out all other news — Iran, Iraq, North
Korea, the economy . . . not even Jon and Kate get mentioned anymore, and that's
important stuff.
With all the Michael Jackson news, we almost forgot that today is Bring Your Dog
to Work Day. Which, for blind people, is every day.
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Courtesy: CaptBob
Dr. Timothy McCarthy while receiving a medical award for creativity, reported
his findings to the Fellows of plastic surgery, concluding with this case study:
"Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse
head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the woman's hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's
Speaker of the House.
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Conan O'Brien
Friday Night, June 26
It’s been reported that Gov. Sanford’s mistress was a reporter for an Argentinean
news channel. This makes Sanford just the latest Republican to claim he got screwed
by the media.
Earlier today Sanford apologized to his Cabinet for having the affair with an Argentinean
woman. In response, his Cabinet members said, “An apology is not good enough — we want photos.”
In Iran, opposition groups have announced that, from now on, they’re going to hold
their protest rallies online. The protesters say they’re going to overthrow the
Iranian regime, and then they’re going after that YouTube cat that plays the piano.
The new Transformers movie is a huge hit. Sources say that 65 General Motors cars
were provided for the movie “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” General Motors
said they will be providing even more of their cars for next one, “Transforms III:
Revenge of the Lemons.”
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Jimmy Fallon
Friday Night, June 26
Yesterday, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford met with his wife, Jenny, for the first
time since admitting his affair. It did not go very well. The first thing he asked
was, "Did I get any e-mail while I was away?"
The next thing he said was, "I got you a shot glass from the airport."
"Transformers II" has made more than $145 million worldwide. It's on track to be
the biggest box office opening of all time. It's incredible — somebody has finally
found a way to make money using American cars.
To promote the use of clean energy, a Swiss adventurist is going to fly around the
world in a solar-powered airplane. He's just praying that nothing bad will happen
. . . like night.
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Craig Fergusan
Friday Night, June 26
Dick Cheney is writing his memoir. It's going to be called, "To Kill a Mockingbird
While Aiming at Your Lawyer."
It will be published by Satan and Schuster.
Well, Schuster's not really involved.
Environmentalists say that living naked for a few hours a day will help save the
earth. Somebody please keep this information away from Al Gore.
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